Dee Tremens returns for his BD

I am happy to say I am back in La Plancha, Califas to finish celebrating my 500--I mean 50--birthday. You thought 50 was bad and you were over the hill then. Try outliving Noah and his crew; Shakespeare and Hal and Sir Toby Belch, and Falstaff; even Cervantes and Sancho from across the pond.

The recent fires and CHP tried to keep me out of La Plancha but to no avail. I am here. The food was heavy and spicy, the beer too light, the tortilla soup insipid.

500 years is really nothing. I am older than your two-bit institutions of heavy earning.